ETHICS - Teaching your children right from wrong


0 - 1 YEAR
To get your child started on a good start to life, give your baby all the love and cuddles you can. This will make them feel secure in their environment and give them a healthy start to life. They are too young at this stage to grasp the concept of right from wrong.

1 - 2 YEARS
Prevention is better than cure at this stage. If you do not want your child to play with something, then put it out of your reach or take precautions to secure the items. A simple ‘no’ is all that is required at this stage or / and a diversionary tactic. Their attention spam is simply to short to for any more discipline, nor do they understand the concept of consequences.

2 - 4 YEARS
Lead by example. Children are starting to learn by imitation. Be consistent and firm when disciplining your child but not harsh. Children of this age do not have the ability to understand things like sharing and truth but will thrive on consistency.

4 - 6 YEARS
Now is the age that children start to understand right from wrong and is the time to be reinforcing positive behaviour. Give lots of praise when children have been well behaved. You will need to continue to lead by example so that you show your children what is expectable behaviourand what is not. They are now at an age that they will respond well to explanations and reasoning and are also keen to please and be liked. Continue to nurture children in a loving environment and be consistent with your decisions. Children feel more secure in an environment where they know the boundaries and limitations.

6 - 8 YEARS
Children now understand the basics when it comes to fairness, how to treat others and the need to follow rules. They are socially aware at this age and are more confident individuals when rules and limitations are consistently up held. Children at this age will strive in a secure and nurturing environment.

8 - 12 YEARS
Now children will start to question you and try to argue the point with you. They have become more independent and will try to find ways of getting ‘their own way’. Remain firm on matters that are important but more flexible on ones that are not as important. You will need to keep leading by example as they will have a lot of outside influences on them now. Reinforcement of good behaviour is still very important, as well as reinforcing their responsibilities to the people surrounding them.

12 - 19 YEARS
The teenage years are a time of mixed emotions where your child is developing and understanding their own ‘identity’ They will question almost everything! This is normal and is a part of them learning who they are, and what they believe in, however if you have instilled in them good values in the earlier years , they will most likely keep these values. We as parents must try hard to weather the storms and keep lines of communications open with our teenagers. Keep the home environment as supportive as possible and try not to worry about everything to much. Even though they will question us about everything they will also look to their peers for support and back up.

Toilet Training

1. Toilet training should be a rewarding and positive experience for toddlers. When starting to toilet train your little one, use encouraging language that you child will understand. You may like to start by making a ‘big’ deal out of going to the toilet yourself so that they can see just exciting it will be when they learn this skill. Going to the toilet for toddlers can be a really frightening experience, believing that what is coming out of their little bodies is actually part of them, so a pooh going down the toilet is almost like flushing a finger away. Start to talk to them about using the toilet or potty when you are changing their nappies so that they are aware of what will happen when you start to toilet train. It is worth noting that toilet training will be a long hard road if you start before they are ready. How do you tell they are ready? When they are aware of the wet nappy, that they are doing a pooh or they tell you they are doing a wee wee or pooh pooh. If they are not aware of these things they are not ready.

2. Set a time to start. It is a good idea to set this time when you can spare a couple of days at home. You should let your toddler know when this time will be, you might like to say something like “How exciting, you will start to use the toilet on Monday, won’t that be fun.....” This will prepare them for the experience.

3. You might like to start by letting them play with the potty or toilet seat (the smaller ones that sit on the toilet) They may want to sit on the potty or toilet with their pants on just to get a feel of it. Also go shopping for some underpants and get your toddler to pick them out. (I found that underpants worked much better than nappy like underpants as my toddlers just thought they were nappies and used them as such) Stock the bathroom or toilet with small toys and books that will keep them on the toilet for longer and also makes the experience more fun and relaxing. So when your toddler and you ready for the first potty experience give them plenty of fluids! This will get them on the potty / toilet in the first couple of days. Get them to drink lots of their favourite beverages so that they need to go to the toilet / potty a lot. You may also need to follow them around with the potty initially as they will only be able to tell you that they need to wee about 2 steps away from the potty! But really it is up to us as parents to continuously place them on the potty at regular intervals. Really encourage them when they are on the toilet / potty, tell them just how good they are and make a HUGE deal out of it. Sing to them, read to them, play with the toys, really do anything that will keep them there long enough for something to happen.

4. Reward them, or as some parents like to call it, ‘bribe’ them. Whatever term you use, use it! Little treats work well. And when I say little I do mean little. I used jelly babies and cut each one up into 3 small pieces so when I gave them 3 pieces they thought it was great but in reality they were only getting one lollie. Remember you will be doing this all day for a couple of days so we don’t want to make the children hyper! Other rewards that you could use is to ring the grandparents and let your toddler tell them all about it, amazingly grandparents love this as much as the toddlers! Give your child really big special cuddles and make lots of noise about how great they are for using the toilet.

5. Toilet training can take a little while and you will have quite a few slip ups along the way. These little accidents can be really frustrating but it is important to remember that they really can’t help these accidents – even when you think the training is almost finished. Don’t make a big deal out of the accident, just clean it up and move on. No matter how frustrated you become DON’T show it, this will discourage your child and send them backwards in the training. You might like to get them to put the clothes into the washing machine for you so that they realize that it needs to be cleaned up but put a positive spin on this when doing so.

6. Night time training - this will often take longer than day time training so it is wise not to throw all your nappies out! Often they will need to keep the night time nappies for 12 months or more. When your toddler has dry nappies when they wake, let them know how good this is. After a while they will have more and more dry nights and then you can pack all the nappies away with confidence.

Parenting is great! I love it. However it can be hard and confusing. Now I don't think that I know everything about kids but I do have the best kids in the world!! What, I here you say, ........I have the best kids in the world....